Nothing makes you feel like a crappy mother more, than being sick. Today I was sick. Today I was crappy. Four hours of television crappy. Hot dogs and applesauce crappy. On any normal day I don't especially love playing pretend. I know. I am supposed to be the theatre geek who loves to play dress up and make forts, and while yes, I do love those things, I can't stand (and I mean nearly loathe) recreating scenes from Disney princess movies with Abigail. I feel really guilty about this because I envision really good mothers as being the kind who can reproduce perfect dialogue from the third Tinkerbell at the drop of a hat. Good mothers love that shiz. I know they do. I just can't do it though and I feel so badly every time I play for 30 seconds only to find some near emergency dishwasher unloading that must be done immediately, making it impossible for me to continue. "But maybe later Ab. Just play by yourself for awhile." I love reading to my children, facilitating art projects and science experiments. I enjoy the weekly outing to the Children's museum. I can do blocks for a while. Just please, (oh God please) don't make me pretend that lime green throw blanket is my Rapunzel hair ever again.
Maybe it's just that I'm sick. Maybe it's just that Abi was up all night coughing then crying. Maybe it's just that no matter how hard I tried, I grew up, and even though I love watching Abigail play pretend (my heart nearly swells at her earnest rendition of a spider spinning her web) I can't seem to summon that kind of magic anymore.
Childhood is so full of wonder. Parenthood is so full of crappy, long-ass sick days.
8:19 PM
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4 comments:
Ha! Sounds like youre blogging about my day -I have a sinus infection and the girls are all sick! I'm glad I'm not in it alone and that asking Abigail to find some thing else to do today or go play princess with Courtney doesn't make me a sucky mom -just sick! The baby also fell today and has a big bruise on her cheek -ugg! Hang in there and heal fast! If it makes you feel any better I got fast food for both lunch and dinner because my hubbys gone -scandal!
Okay...First you don't "suck"....I Despise pretend play too. I would love to help with art, science, outside play, etc.
My good friend once told me that when she was a mother times were different and parents didn't feel bad for letting their kids play by themselves or not wanting to dress up with their kids. She proceeded to tell me that her 4 girls turned out to be wonderfully well adjusted children and that we "young" mothers put too much pressure on ourselves to be the PERFECT mother.
Anyway, I always think about that when I feel like a crap of a mother. I helps to know sometimes that other mothers feel the same way, but our kids will turn out fine! :)
First of all you are not even close to being a crappy mom!! It seems like being sick is going around. There are days when the TV and microwave are how we moms survive. When we survive so do our kiddos. hehe
I know what you mean about pretending. I often wish I could see all the make believe things along with my kids and get just as involved. Alas I guess we just have to enjoy them and hope they don't grow up too fast.
You are amazing M, and you can tell just by looking at your wonderful, beautiful family.
Just FYI: my parents certainly didn't play pretend with me. That's what Gwen will be for!
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